Golf Blog

The 2017 Masters Picks

There comes a time every year in March when I drop everything that I am doing and say "Holy Shit, The Masters is in 15 days, 3 hours, 12 minutes, and 42 seconds."  Sure enough, its my biological golf clock kicking into gear for the season.  After some brief homework and careful consideration, I present my selections for the 2017 Masters.

  • Bubba Watson - These days, I make my picks for Bubba based on the color of ball he plays.  This one is tough as we won't know if Bubba's pink and white swirl order will be delivered by Thursday.  Projection: Ehh
  • Phil Mickelson - With Phil's trending performance this year on and around the greens, he will play nicely at The National.  Phil will stand a chance to win if he can find the fairway with consistency.  Either way, Phil will deliver a riveting Sunday post round interview in which he mentions being inspired by this very pjkoenig blog post.  Projection: T-3rd
  • Ricky Fowler - While trying to escape tree trouble on 10, Ricky suffers an unfortunate injury to the groin on a White Dogwood ricochet.  Fortunately, State Farm is on site to turn his misfortune into a series of highly entertaining advertisements. Projection: Solo 16th
  • Dustin Johnson - With DJ's ascension up the OWGR golf ladder complete, he reaches another high with a course record 62 on Friday.  Unable to maintain his mojo, we watch DJ's lead slowly slip away over the weekend only to be overtaken on the 72nd hole.  Distraught by the events, Paulina Gretzky posts bikini photo on Instagram. Projection: 25.6k likes / Runner Up.
  • Rory Mcilroy - Still looking to banish his 2011 Masters' demons, McIlroy and Spieth hold a demon seance on the 10th green at midnight on Wednesday.  Rosemary's Baby is in attendance along with that demon girl from The Ring. Projection: 60% demon reduction / T2.
  • Tiger Woods:  A recent twitter poll found that the opening of Jurassic Park was more likely than a Tiger start at the 2017 Masters.  Projection: DNP

 

  • Jimmy Walker - Jimmy Walker misses the cut, meets up with Johnny Walker immediately afterwards. BAC Projection: .15%
  • Stewart Hagestad - With Vegas giving Hagestad 2000/1 odds, the most likely scenario is that Stewart hires Fred Couples to wear a Stewart Hagestad mask and play the tournament in alternate disguises.  After the scandal is uncovered Saturday morning, everyone still loves Fred Couples.  Hagestad and Couples are permitted to finish under the little known "Hilarious Masters Pranks Clause" Projection: Hagestad: T52 Couples: T32.
  • Hideki Matsuyama - After hitting a perfect 3 iron into 15, Hideki holes out for double eagle on Saturday.  Disgusted with the shot, he throws his entire golf bag into the lake and is unable to finish.  Projection: DQ
  • Andrew "Beef" Johnston - After a sluggish start, Beef gains momentum by putting his curly fry headcover and Arby's hat into play on the weekend.  Although he has the beef, Beef doesn't have the birdies to seriously contend.  Projection: Delicious
  • Jordan Spieth - With one win under his belt and fresh off his Wednesday night demon seance, Ole Spiethy is one of the favorites coming into Augusta this year.  If that putter gets hot, not even the 12th hole can stop this man.  Jordan's Scotty Cameron explodes into flames as he holes the winning putt on Sunday and the golf demons are released into the sky.  Projection: Masters Champion
  • Justin Thomas - This kid is no longer on Spring Break and he is here to seriously contend in this year's Masters.  Even though JT fades on his Sunday back nine, Justin and Ricky build a 2 man shirtless pyramid on the 18th green to honor their spring break bretheren's Masters' victory.  Projection: T4

Bonus Masters Graph Section

Ian Poulter Analytics

Projected Ball Count

Augusta Demon Distribution

2015 US Open Predictions

Here are my US Open predictions for Chambers Bay.  They are in early this year, which should make them even more impressive.  As a disclaimer, I would also like to remind everyone just how hard it is to correctly predict golf tournaments.  

Top: 5

  1. Jordan Spieth - about 3 years ago, I predicted Jordan would win his 1st major at Chamber's Bay in 2015.  This long range pick is looking even more likely now that Jordan his risen to #2 in the world and claimed victory at the Masters.  Spieth wins by 1 draining a 12 footer for birdie on 18 that sends the crowd into a frenzy of total madness!!!
  2. Rory McIlory - Rory goes down swinging after suffering a tough double bogie on the 16th hole to give up the lead and lose by 1. Rory manages to roll in a nice birdie on 18 forcing Spieth to make his 12 footer for the win.  Ratings glory for FOX!!
  3. Jason Day - Another solid performance in a major by J-Day.  His all weather Adidas pants propel him up the leader board with the low round of the day on Sunday.
  4. Dustin Johnson- I originally had Sergio here but decided to go with Dustin Johnson.  This was based on the fact that I think Dustin is a better golfer at the current time.      
  5. Ryan Moore - Going with the hometown favorite to have a strong showing.  A tough Sunday round sees him fall out of a tie for the lead.

Notables:

  • Tiger Woods:  Tiger plays 2 of the 4 rounds under 70 and the other 2 not so much.  He finishes a respectable T-26th place.
  • Rickie Fowler:  Rick finishes in a tie for 6th ending that whole "top 5 in a major" thing he had going on last year.
  • Jason Dufner:  Dufman finds his grove and leads after day 1, he then turns in 3 sub par (above par) rounds to finish in a T-27, 1 shot behind Tiger.
  • Angel Cabrera:   My friend Joe will bet heavily for "El Pato" to pull this one off.  Joe will lose heavily.
  • Greg Norman and Joe Buck:  Earn moderate to bad marks as Fox's 1st time US Open commentating team.
  • Phil Mickelson:  Phil's driving holds him back this week.  Too much trouble off of the tee costs him a realistic shot at a Sunday run.  He finishes in a T-7 position.  He chips in a whole bunch though and people love it. 

Cinderella Story:

A 21 year old by the name of Ollie Schniederjans (a) from Georgia Tech plays like a man on a mission through 2 days coming into within 1 shot of the lead.  The papers erupt with Francis Ouimet stories of old.  People start chanting Ollie after every birdie, One particularly ambitious fan paints "Ollie Ollie Oxen Free" on her T-Shirt.  In short, people get real excited.....  Unfortunately, Ollie fades into a respectable finish over the weekend right along side Jason Dufner.  Not bad for a 1st timer. 

Winning Score in relation to par:  1 under par:  A near perfect score for the USGA.  The weather ends up being about 1 stroke nicer than expected.